#3 BEHIND THE CEREMONY: What Couples Mean When They Say “We Want It to Feel Like Us”

Almost every couple I work with says some version of the same thing:

“We just want it to feel like us.”

It’s one of those phrases that sounds crystal clear but isn’t always easy to articulate.

Most people don’t spend their lives putting words to emotional tone. We know when something feels right… and when it doesn’t. But translating that instinct into a ceremony brief? That’s a not always easy.

Add in the pressure of weddings — expectations, traditions, other people’s opinions — and suddenly couples are trying to describe something deeply personal, sometimes using borrowed language that doesn’t quite fit.

So when couples say “like us,” they’re often pointing toward something they can sense, but haven’t named yet.

What “Like Us” Usually Really Means

After years of listening carefully (and reading between the lines), I’ve noticed a pattern.

When couples say they want their ceremony to feel like them, they almost always mean:

Relaxed, not stiff

Meaningful, not performative

Intentional, not over-produced

Warm, not overly formal

Personal, but not cringey

They want their guests to feel comfortable. They want to recognize themselves in the words being spoken. They want the ceremony to sound like real humans who chose each other — not a script from a bad soap opera.

Translating feelings into words is one of my favourite parts of my work.

1. We Start with What They Don’t Want

Sometimes clarity comes faster through contrast.

So, I’ll ask things like:

“Is there anything you’ve seen at a wedding that made you think, absolutely not?”

“Do you want this to feel more lighthearted or more reverent?”

“Would you rather people laugh softly… or wipe away tears…or both?”

Naming what doesn’t fit helps us quickly narrow in on what does.

2. I Listen Closely to Their Own Language

Couples often hand me the blueprint for their ceremony without realizing it.

The words they use to describe each other. The way they tell their story. The phrases that keep popping up naturally — easy, steady, home, adventure, quiet, fun.

I don’t replace those words with fancier ones.

I build around them.

Because when a ceremony reflects a couple’s actual language, it feels authentic — not scripted. Guests lean in. The couple relaxes. And suddenly, everyone feels it:

This really is them.

3. I Match the Tone to the Relationship

Every relationship has its own rhythm.

Some are playful and quick-witted. Some are grounded and calm. Some carry a deep sense of reverence for what it took to get here.

My role isn’t to impose a style — it’s to reflect one.

That means choosing words, pacing, and moments of pause that mirror how this couple moves through the world together.

I LOVE hearing back from couples after they have reviewed a draft of their ceremony script. They’ll say things like,

“LAURA – WOW! We both cried. It’s so perfect.”

“This is SO us – thank you!!”

“We love it, but can we add a bit more about our dog?” (Obviously, I had hoped you would.)

Your wedding is not a bad high school play where we are all reading lines. It’s a moment in time that will never come again, and I want it to feel authentic and true.

My job is to listen, translate, and turn that feeling into a ceremony that sounds like you — because when it does, everyone can feel it.

Laura xo